14 Months Later And She Was Holding Her Son
Sarah pushed and through the tears and her pain, she heard the most miraculous sound in the world. She could hear her son’s first cries. It was an overwhelming moment and she was overcome with emotion.
As they gave her her son to hold for the first time she looked around the room and wished her husband was sitting next to her. How would anyone believe 14 months after his death she had given birth to his biological child. The pain was overwhelming and she held her baby close. How had she achieved this tiny scientific miracle?
A Late In Life Love Story
Sarah had first met her husband at Southern Nazarene University. The couple was both from Oklahoma and Sarah remembered immediately wanting to be this man’s friend.
They stayed in touch through University and lost contact for a little bit. Sarah always remembered how warm and engaging Scott was and thought about him often over the years. A surprise message in 2017 would change her life forever.
A Blast From The Past
One day out of the blue Scott messaged Sarah on Facebook. She was thrilled but also nervous. What could he want after so many years? Sarah had had her heart broken a couple of times and didn’t want it to happen again.
The pair began to chat every day and Scott’s warm personality quickly got Sarah to relax. They reminisced about their University days and shared laughs about inside jokes and memories. Was this a friendship or a budding romance?
An Unlikely Match
Even though the pair had a lot in common their romance took Sarah by surprise. At the time she wasn’t looking for a relationship and as the relationship grew stronger, Sarah was overwhelmed with emotion.
Could it be possible this handsome stranger from her past was her future husband? She didn’t want to get her hopes up, but everything that Scott was telling her about what he wanted from a future partner and marriage matched her own goals. Sarah felt her heart soar as she began to believe in love again, but was it finally her turn?
A Whirlwind Romance
Scott swept Sarah off her feet. She had never felt so safe and loved as she did in this relationship. Four months after connecting on Facebook, Scott proposed. Sarah was ecstatic and screamed a big y-e-s!
The happy couple shared the news with friends and family and got married in 2018. They were both already in their 30’s and were anxious to start their family. The couple wanted three kids to complete their happily ever after. No one could have predicted the tragedy around the corner.
Planning For A Family
Sarah and Scott agreed they both wanted three kids but were having problems conceiving. After checking with local fertility programs they made a decision to pursue in vitro fertilization.
In vitro fertilization or IVF meant that doctors would collect Sarah’s egg’s surgically and fertilize them with Scott’s sperm in a lab. The young couple took a moment to talk about if this is what they wanted. When they imagined starting a family they didn’t think it would involve test tubes or science labs. Was this worth the risk and cost?
Was A Family Worth The Risks?
IVF treatments had many risks to consider. The risk of miscarriage was high. Unlike natural conception, the process was financially draining and dangerous on the mother’s body. Sarah was putting her life on the line to have a family with Scott, but was it worth the risk?
The young couple knew they would face any challenge that came their way. There was no argument, they wanted to have children and they wanted their children to be theirs, or biological, instead of adoption. With their family’s support, they began to find the clinic that would give them a baby.
A Baby Investment
The price of IVF in the states was tens of thousands of dollars. Even though the couple had money saved they didn’t want to go broke trying for a family. They wanted to also make sure they had money in their savings for their child’s life.
With the cost of one treatment ranging from $10-20,000, they felt frustrated. All they wanted to do was start their family, why did they have to choose between a mortgage or a baby? They didn’t know if this meant they should stop or continue to move forward. They needed a sign to know they were on the right path.
A Paradise For Fertility
Sarah and Scott realized they could look outside the United States for a solution. The couple began researching international IVF procedures and was shocked at what they found.
On the tiny island of Barbados was a fertility clinic that could make their dreams come true for half the price. Instead of $10,000 the procedure would cost under $5,000! This clinic had an excellent success rate but was it too good to be true. The couple held hands and prayed for an answer.
Beaches And Potential Babies
Sarah and Scott became set on Barbados Fertility Centre. The staff was amazing and knowledgeable and they believed they were in good hands.
In December 2019, the couple did their first treatment at the center. They found out a couple of weeks later that it was successful. The news came around Christmas and they couldn’t believe their luck! Not only was it successful but the doctors could already tell the gender of the baby. Did gender matter to these new parents?
A Baby Boy
The doctors confirmed their embryo would be a baby boy! The procedure had gone smooth and when the couple was ready Sarah could attempt to get pregnant. The couple rejoiced and celebrated over Christmas with their family and friends.
While they cuddled together thinking about their future, they also talked about baby names. It was a magical moment as they felt their future was so close. Scott hugged his wife close to his body and the couple felt more in love than ever before. What would the new year bring to them and their family?
2020: Global Interference
As 2020 began it was clear there were going to be restrictions on the horizon for travel. Sarah and Scott didn’t want to waste any more time and decided Sarah should go to Barbados while she still could for a second treatment.
Their first embryo had been successful but the couple wanted three kids. They had to do more procedures quickly while Sarah still had many eggs to fertilize. Due to Scott’s teaching schedule, he couldn’t take time off and Sarah’s mother offered to go with her. Little did they know this trip would change their marriage forever.
A Final Flight
Sarah and her mother landed in Barbados in February 2020. Tensions were already high about travel and Sarah stayed positive and focused on her procedure. They were only there for a couple of days before flying home.
As Sarah and her mother boarded her flight, she got a message from Scott telling her he loved her and would see her soon. She turned off her cell phone but couldn’t get rid of an anxious feeling in her stomach. She held her mother’s hand, but as the plane took off Sarah’s life was already permanently changed.
Landing In A Nightmare
When Sarah and her mother landed, she turned her cell phone back on to call Scott. Instead, her phone got flooded with messages. Something was wrong. Sarah’s heart sank, what had happened to her husband.
She began to read the messages and realized Scott had a heart attack while teaching. Sarah tried not to panic but her worse fear was coming true. Through Scott’s colleagues she found out which hospital Scott was at and immeaditley drove there. Would she get there too late, or was the love of her life fine after a slight scare?
There Had To Be A Mistake
As Sarah drove to the hospital she couldn’t understand what had happened. Scott was so healthy and in great shape. Surely it couldn’t be as bad as everyone made it sound. She would feel better once she held his hand.
When she got to the hospital the doctor delivered crushing news. Scott was already brain dead. The heart attack had unfortunately taken his life. Sarah collapsed in her husband’s hospital room. How could she handle their future alone?
Remembered As A Hero
As Sarah’s world came crashing down around her, she had to make an important decision. Scott was a healthy man with the bad luck to suffer from a heart attack, but he could still help many people.
The doctor knew this was a difficult time for Sarah, but she had to make a decision. Would Scott become an organ donor? He could help so many more people with this senseless death. Sarah knew Scott would like that and signed the forms to make him an organ donor. Sarah’s heart was shattered, who would rescue her from this nightmare?
A Final Goodbye
After only 18 months together, Scott was gone. Sarah signed the forms, Scott’s liver and kidney saved three other people’s lives. On February 21, Scott was pronounced officially dead and instead of planning their future, Sarah began to plan her husband’s funeral.
She felt completely numb and alone in the world. In all the couple’s conversations, when they talked about their future, they were always together. There wasn’t a backup plan for early death. Had Sarah lost her husband and future family all in one painful moment? What could her future look like now?
One Last Hope
A week after the funeral, Sarah got a phone call from Barbados. She had completely forgotten about their IVF treatments and was overcome with grief. On the line was the news Sarah needed to snap out of it.
The doctor told her Sarah’s last treatment had also resulted in a healthy embryo. That meant that Scott was still alive in her children! Sarah sat up, and instantly knew what she had to do. What her husband would want her to do.
It’s What Scott Would Want
Sarah knew she had to get pregnant. It was what she and Scott talked about and her IVF treatments were biologically Scott’s. She could still have a piece of her husband and the happy family she always dreamed of.
As part of the clinic’s procedure, the couple had filled out paperwork on what would happen if a spouse died. At the time, it had seemed so far-fetched but they agreed the remaining partner could do what they wish with their embryos. Sarah knew she had to get back to Barbados and make Scott’s dreams come true.
Time Slowed Down
As Sarah waited for it to be safe for her to travel to Barbados she spent all her time thinking about Scott. She remembered their University days and their marriage. She would walk around their house and remember his laughter and strong arms around her.
In every corner, Sarah was reminded of Scott and how much he wanted to become a father. With every day she became more confident, she could do this. It would be difficult but she knew both their families would support her and the children. Finally, it was time and Sarah took one more flight to Barbados.
A Flight Of Hope
When Sarah landed in paradise this time, her heart was heavy. She had spent months thinking about this moment but it still felt surreal that Scott wasn’t there holding her hand. She walked along the beach and remembered how giddy they were from their first trip.
Sarah never saw her life turning out this way but she held back the tears as the procedure began. She made a silent prayer to Scott, wherever he was, that he was happy and smiling down on her and their family.
A Pregnancy Present
Sarah flew to Barbados in August, six months after losing Scott. The procedure went smoothly and she returned home to rest. She spoke to Scott more about her fears and dreams for this miraculous baby that was hopefully growing in her belly.
A week after she got home, Sarah took a pregnancy test and immediately burst into tears! It had worked! She was pregnant and carrying Scott’s child! The emotions were overwhelming as she held her body and wished her husband was there to celebrate with her.
Sharing The BitterSweet News
Sarah was so overwhelmed with emotions and this journey, she took to her social media to share an update. In big capital letters, she got to write two words she never thought possible, I’M PREGNANT!
She shared on Instagram, I can’t believe it. Scott and I fought so hard for this day and it’s very bittersweet to be typing/speaking/believing these words without him by my side, but they are true and they are so incredibly special to me. How would Sarah’s community react to her decision?
It Was A Dangerous Path
Sarah knew with IVF treatments there was a higher risk of miscarriage. She kept a brave face but she was an anxious wreck. Her social media became a support system for her as she connected with other women going through IVF pregnancies.
One morning Sarah woke up and was spotting. She shared the news with the Instagram community and immediately didn’t feel alone. After routine tests, her doctors confirmed the baby was fine and she even got to hear the heartbeat at the ultrasound. It was an incredible feeling and she wished Scott was there to hold her hand.
An Emotional Pregnancy
Every woman is emotional during their first pregnancy but Sarah felt like a rollercoaster of emotions. She couldn’t wait to meet her son and hold a piece of Scott. Every day her body grew and she wondered what her life as a single mom would be like.
Finally, the day arrived and Sarah had to be strong! She was about to bring her son into this world and he would need her more than anyone else. She didn’t know if she was ready to be a single parent but her heart was already overflowing with love.
Welcome To The World Miracle Baby
On May 3, Hayes Philip-Scott Shellenberger was born and Sarah was overjoyed. He was born at 11:27 am and weighed 8lbs 5oz. He was the perfect package and Sarah’s miracle.
Sarah shared her beautiful son with her social media family in an eloquent and heartfelt post. “Dreamed about for decades. Prayed for by many. Conceived in patience and tribulation and hope. Delivered into his mama’s arms that are empty yet full. Loved beyond description.” This miracle baby was about to fight for his life and there was nothing Sarah could do but watch.
The Bilirubin Battle
Sarah and Hayes were back in the hospital a week after his birth to deal with some scary issues. As a newborn, it’s normal to have the condition of jaundice. For some babies, this can go untreated and disappear after 2 weeks.
Unfortunately for miracle baby Hayes, his bilirubin levels were rising to dangerous measures. He needed to go back to the hospital or risk a possible stroke or brain damage. All Sarah could do was stand there and pray that her miracle baby would be strong enough to fight through this.
Sarah Wouldn’t Survive Losing Hayes
After just over a year of losing Scott, Sarah knew she couldn’t survive grieving her son. She began to pray and called to Scott to please protect his son and make him strong while he fighting off this infection.
Would Sarah’s prayers be answered or was this moment of joy for a brief second? What would happen to this young mom that had risked everything to have her husband’s child 14 months after his death? How would she survive without either of them?
Brighter Days Were On The Future
Sarah’s prayers were answered and Hayes grew into a healthy baby boy. They got to go home and she began treasuring every single second of his first month. Hayes had been born two weeks early, but to Sarah, it just felt like an extra gift of time.
As Hayes grew stronger, Sarah wanted to do a tribute to the IVF treatments that allowed her to have her son. Without these treatments, she wouldn’t be holding Scott’s son, and every day she was more grateful. She approached a local photographer, but would her social media community appreciate the post or find it insulting?
A Tribute To Hope
With IVF treatments, the woman carrying the baby must take several needles daily. These needles are mainly hormonal injections that help the body prepare for pregnancy. Before the embryo is placed in the woman the daily needles give the body a stronger chance to carry the pregnancy to full term.
Sarah worked with local photographers to capture just how many needles she took during her journey to conception. Each needle prick brought her closer to holding baby Hayes in her arm. Some women going through IVF are embarrassed over this daily procedure and Sarah was trying to support all the women in her community with this uplifting post.
A Love Everlasting
With the positive support from Sarah’s IVF tribute, she worked with the same photographer to do a powerful homage to her marriage with Scott. The picture was posted a year and a half after Scott’s death.
It also marked a date where Scott had been gone longer than the couple had been married. In their whirlwind romance, they were only together for 18 months. They made a plan for the future and their family, but unfortunately, there was a different fate in store. Not a day goes by that Sarah doesn’t remember her amazing husband and thinks about what a great father he would be to baby Hayes.
Settling Into Ordinary Oklahoma
As Sarah and Hayes settle into a daily routine, she thinks of Scott daily. She wishes he could be here to meet his son and knows he would have been an amazing father.
Sarah still can't believe the journey she went on to finally hold her miracle baby. Hayes is truly a light in her days and the best way she can honor Scott's memory. She is still unsure about becoming pregnant a second time but for now soaks in the daily bliss of being a first-time mom.