Bragging Is Frustrating
If you thought that some people are likable because of their good looks, talent or just natural social skills, then you’re wrong. We can all control this aspect and make it so that people around us appreciate us and enjoy their time with us. It’s all about having extra emotional intelligence, also known as EQ. A study performed by UCLA also revealed that the top descriptions of likable people were not intelligence or their good looks. Instead, they found out that a likable person is sincere, transparent and can understand other people, all being part of emotional intelligence. But how can you learn what behaviors are required for people to like you? Here’s where we can help!
Let’s check out the reasons that hold people back from liking you.
Most of the talented and passionate people will find themselves surrounded with people, but here’s where you might go wrong.
If at work you’re too absorbed in what you’re doing and forget to be friendly or have a bit of fun, you’ll lose essential moments when you should have interacted with your colleagues.
Sometimes, we get distracted in certain conversations and end up not getting the meaning of the words that should have reached your brain. Usually, people like to know someone is paying attention to them when they’re talking.
So, to show you’re listening and you care about what they are telling you, you can ask some questions related to that subject to show them you’re engaged in the discussion.
It’s important you don’t throw things at people, yell at them, make them cry, since all of these account for a low emotional intelligence. People will see that instability and you’ll be seen as less trustworthy person that cannot keep it together.
Exploding all around makes you an unapproachable and intimidating person, and that’s why not many people like you…
Ever saw someone you were having a conversation just phase out and check their phone or even write a text message? It’s disrespectful, no matter who you’re talking to - friends, family or co-workers.
If you want people to really like you, you must focus your energy on the time you spend with them and not check out the time, messages or other things.
Nobody likes it when you’re bragging, and if you’re just joining every conversation to name-drop, don’t do it! It’s not cool. It actually is silly and it shows you’re insecure, trying to compensate for something.
People will like you if you are confident and attentive, not if you know important people. PS: be sure to drop the salt with this much confidence and you will make many people like you.
It’s obvious people’s opinions are influenced by this factor.
When they hear others gossiping, they immediately believe you’re negative and spiteful, since you like to talk about other’s problems and misfortunes.
People are more approachable if they have an open mind. If someone has a conversation with you and you’re already set into your own ideas, it means you don’t want to listen to them.
At work, an open mind will help you and your colleagues develop new ideas and improve performance. This way, you’ll be more likable.
Let’s say you’ve just met a group of people at work or someplace and you’re having a conversation. Since you don’t know each other well, try to refrain from sharing too much personal details, such as problems or confessions because they might make you look self-obsessed.
You don’t have to be in the spotlight, and the group you’re talking to are not your personal therapists.
The same thing goes when you’re expressing yourself on social media. You might share too much.
Nobody needs to know what you ate for breakfast or that you walked your dog for an hour. Over-sharing makes people dislike you.
You might be the boss, but remember that the only thing you’re allowed to control is you. To control others, it implies you use authority, fear or force, none of which actually make you a likable person.
If you’re a fun, friendly and open person that cares about others, you’ll see the ones around you are going into the same direction as you are, and there’s no need of controlling that direction anymore.
It’s safe to say that remind other about their mistakes or blaming them for your problems is not going to make you very popular. Instead, take responsibility for those mistakes, search for the thing that went wrong and find a solution.
It will make everything better, and people will notice it.
Although you own a lot of cool things and have impressive accomplishments, people might not necessarily like you. It’s superficial to think that impressing other equals having them like you.
Real and genuine friendships, no matter where they’re being made, develop once you start acting more like yourself.
Fear, insecurity might make you clingy.
Let go of what you don’t need and you will see that reaching for things you need will make you feel better about yourself and will also gain you some more friends.
Do not interrupt others, because not only it’s rude, but it also shows you don’t really care about what they’re saying. If you do this, it shows you’re just listening so that you can then say things you want to say in return. Focus on what people want to say and, as we mentioned earlier, you can always ask for clarifications to understand what they mean.
You’ll see it works wonders! Don't be Kanye!
Do you think whining makes you feel better about your problems? It’s time wasting and not helping your situation.
Instead, fix your problems and help friends overcome the same whining problem by listening and supporting them to make your lives better.
You might have better education or more experience, but it just makes you unique, not better, or smarter than others. Because everyone is different, you should appreciate seeing that difference around you and not criticize others for not being more like you.
It doesn’t place you in a good light.
Closely related to criticizing, preaching and judging are also things you should avoid if you want those around you to like you.
Your behavior will only make people not pay attention to you.
Let go of the past, and learn from your mistakes and the mistakes that are made around you. When others make mistakes, try to forgive, understand and be kind.
Only look back on the past mistakes to know that next times things will be right.
Don’t let fears hold you back from making changes in your life. Do not hesitate, or wait for the right moment.
You might end up wasting years thinking you need a little longer before taking that decision. Be more confident in yourself and you’ll see that when that fear goes away, you’ll also be more likable.